Come to my talk about communes Dec. 14 on Zoom
Find out what works, what doesn't, and how to make sure you're joining or starting the right community for you - or just find out answers to all those nosy questions you've been dying to ask
Guess what? I’m giving a talk about communes! And you’re invited!
First, the basics:
Genius Teatime with Molly Freedenberg, hosted by Opulent Mobility
“Things to Know Before Setting Up Your Commune”
(Or, as I joked to the organizer, “So You Want to Start or Join a Commune? LOLOL Are you Sure? But If So, Here’s What to Consider First”)
Saturday, December 14, 2024
3:30-4:30PM PST on Zoom
Suggested donation $10-30; no one turned away for lack of funds. Your donation will benefit ME/CFS advocacy group ME Action, the Opulent Mobility accessibility fund, and moi!
(P.S. Opulent Mobility, is an organization whose mission is to re-imagine and portray disability as opulent and powerful, primarily via creating and supporting art installations.Also, delightfully, OM hosts Genius Teatime, a community lecture series, where a diverse group of people are invited to share their expertise on a topic, with minimal preparation and a casual atmosphere, for the sake of fun, education, and connection. (Check out upcoming and past talks here.)
Thanks to OM founder A. Laura Brody for inviting me to speak!)
This talk is for you if:
You’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live on a commune
You’ve ever seen one of those cheap castles in Italy advertised on Facebook, a tiny town for sale, or a tempting plot of land, and thought to yourself “it sure would be cool to buy that and start a community there”
You’ve seriously considered joining, or starting, a commune or communal living situation
You’ve only idly considered, or merely fantasized about, the same
You’re simply curious if communes actually are sex cults (spoiler: sometimes), nudist colonies (sometimes), utopias (ehhhhh… sometimes…ish?), or the answer to all of modern life, capitalism’s, and your problems (LOLOLOL)
You’ve ever wondered what my time in all those was actually like
You just wanna hang out with me!
As you may or may not know, I have been living on or in bona fide communes (or intentional communities, or co-living arrangements, depending on which decade we’re getting our vocabulary from) on and off since 1997, when my college boyfriend and I spent our summer in a community founded in the ‘70s, complete with organic homemade hummus, consensus decision-making, and a sauna full of white people with dreadlocks.
I have lived in a 19th century farmhouse in the rural coastal Oregon mountains, a 15th century monastery in the rural central Italian mountains, an urban mansion in San Francisco, a historic hotel in the Haight Ashbury, and a funky artistic estate we called “The Castle” in the Hollywood Hills. And that’s not even counting the various non-profits and arts groups that weren’t technically communes but had components - either idealogical, logistical, or organizational - that make them look and operate a whole lot like intentional communities.
Often, I have found myself helping run these places (thanks, overachiever spirit, boundless Aries enthusiasm, and a deeper need to belong than to make decisions carefully).
Which means I have seen what they’re like as a participant/newbie/resident and as an organizer/leader/administrator. I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t.
I have watched some thrive and some die. I have watched some do both, in cycles. And I have watched some people within them thrive, while others wither, suffer, or collapse.
What I’ve noticed is that what takes these places down, or makes people want to leave them, is often the same cross every kind of commune, of every size, and in every location. The same oversights. The same mistakes. The same assumptions. The same beautiful but misguided dreams. The same insidious and overlooked influences.
Almost always, these issues are preventable and avoidable.
Almost always, things could have gone differently - whether for the leader or the joiner - if they’d put in a little bit of the right intention and effort up front.
So. That will be my primary focus for this talk: how to avoid common mistakes when starting or joining a commune (or any community or organization, particularly those that are highly idealistic, highly underground, and/or highly counter-culture).
I’ll discuss:
the good and bad, and fantasy vs reality, of living communally
what to ask yourself and others before starting or joining a group
money, decision-making, leadership, labor, and power structures
how to consider and avoid ableism, ageism, indentured servitude, and other forms of exploiting people (especially marginalized people)
innovation vs. not reinventing all the wheels
…and, hopefully, your whatever else you want to know! (There will be a Q&A, so come with questions!)
Over the years, I’ve known many people who wanted to start or join communities. Some to escape the rat race. Some to raise kids in a more supportive, village-like atmosphere. Some to live according to specific principles, like permaculture or veganism. Lots and lots so they can be artists, futurists, and/or happy hedonists.
And, more recently, those who want to form mutual support communities for those who are similarly vulnerable, like a place for those with ME/CFS or other disabilities, for those wanting COVID-safe housing, or those looking to form the kind of support trans, BIPOC, and other marginalized people might need in a Trump-2.0 world.
Though I hope this talk will entertain the friends and voyeurs, it is especially built around the advice I would give to those people, the ones who might try to actually do this someday.
Communal living can be a beautiful, inspiring, amazing experience.
But it also can leave you full of disillusionment, disappointment, and PTSD.
I’ve enjoyed some of the highest highs and the lowest lows of my life in these places.
My mission is to try to maximize people’s chances for the former, and minimize the likelihood of the latter.
I hope you’ll join me!
And again, if you have any questions you’d like me to answer, please bring them to the talk, or you can also comment below or submit (anonymously) here! All questions (however technical, personal, controversial, etc…) are welcome.
