Okay, so.
I know that a ton of really big and important stuff has happened since I wrote my last timely and very important post about the Love is Blind Reunion. There was an election. There was pre-election anxiety. There is post-election… (Choose one or more: terror, grief, despair, rage, panic, confusion, disassociation, surprising feeling of emotional regulation that’s either because of denial or because of following all that “Election Self-Care” advice…). Here, in Camarillo, there was a massive wildfire and my mom and I actually evacuated to a hotel nearby.
You’d think, with all my big brains and deep thinking and journalism background and activist heart, I’d be writing about at least one of those things, right? WRONG.
Apparently, what I am interested in, how I have been coping, what is bringing me escape and joy, is Taylor Swift.
More specifically, it is these voice memos I sent a friend about Taylor Swift, and then what I have been thinking about since. (Scroll down to just skip to the memos.)
Here’s the deal.
My dear friend Liz, who was one of my nearest and dearest in Italy (and remains so now), lives in New Orleans, and asked me, upon the descent of every Swiftie in America on her town for the Eras Tour over Halloween, what the deal is with Taylor. Why is she such a big deal? Why does everyone like her? And, specifically, is it just because she’s fun?
Which are GREAT QUESTIONS I was THRILLED TO ANSWER because I, too, once had these questions, and in the years since, I have found immense joy in discovering the answers for myself and then becoming the Swiftie (and Amateur Taylor Swift Scholar) I apparently am now.
I was so thrilled, in fact, that I left her three voice memos on the topic. THREE. That together add up to something like 30 minutes (if you remove the parts that weren’t about Taylor).
Once I sent them, I mused to myself about how I’d basically just given a short lecture on Taylor Swift. Which was certainly much longer than what my friend wanted, but likely much shorter than I could’ve given. And somehow I felt like someone besides my friend should have access to this vitally important information and commentary. Especially since she probably won’t listen to them all. (No shade or guilt-trip to her - that’s a lot of voice memo to impose upon someone who didn’t ask for it.)
So I am now sharing them with you.
Because, well, that idea delights me.
And I am also sharing the transcripts of those voice memos (thank you for the extraordinarily accurate and three-free-a-month transcripts, TurboScribe!), because, well, I don’t know, I can…?
But let me just say before you listen or read:
I did not record these memos with the intention to share them with the public. This is not me at my smartest or most coherent or un-brain-foggy. It is not all of what I have to say about Taylor, nor is it necessarily what I would say or how I would say it if I were writing an essay or giving a talk on this topic - which I may do at some point, because I really do have a lot to say about Taylor Swift, and particularly about the misogyny that seems to be so intertwined with most people’s disdain for her and her success (which btw isn’t just about how people feel about her but about how people feel about who likes her and why).
But I don’t feel like doing that yet.
What I do feel like doing is giving you a little glimpse into some of my raw, sleepy thoughts, and also hearing how it sounds when I talk to a friend about it, and also how I sound when I’m talking to someone I really love and who I know appreciates my thoughts and opinions and random pop culture knowledge. It’s basically, like, hey, wanna hang out with me for a minute? Slash, hey, ever wanted to know what it would be like if I were a podcast? Well HERE YOU GO.
So please do take these recordings - and the transcripts - in the spirit in which they were originally recorded.
As for the transcripts… LOL they really are so bad. I dare you to record and transcribe your next phone call and then see what you really sound like as you talk. It is deeply humbling. I did do some light editing, some for clarity, a lot for everyone’s sanity (yours and mine) considering there are only so many times you can read “like” in one paragraph. I also added some links and videos, because: CONTEXT and FUN.
But mostly I left it alone, because I am practicing this thing called Only Doing What I Wanna and, like I said, I don’t feel like Writing The Whole Essay right now, so… I didn’t.
Also, I edited the audio and transcript to cut out the parts that were personal to my friend, because as much as this Scorpio moon/Gemini rising would love to listen to someone else’s personal conversation and gossip and my Aries sun likely wouldn’t hesitate to share mine with you, that is not what my friend signed up for. Plus, you know, some things are just sacred. So note to all my friends and family: You don’t have to worry I’ll share our phone calls and your personal information in this newsletter. I didn’t here either.
Oh, and a final thing. While editing these transcripts, I got to a part where I said “I could make you a list of my favorite songs if you're interested…” and I realized that it would be fun to make that list even if my friend doesn’t ask for it. So I am also going to share that list with you, likely in two separate posts. I’m shooting for 20 songs but since I’m kind of a hoarder (I mean that literally, clinically), it might be, like, 27. Don’t sue me.
So, here you go. What is clearly the antidote to the world being on fire, literally and metaphorically (/sarcasm). You’re welcome.
Ze Memos:
Molly’s Taylor Swift Voice Memo #1: My T.S. Backstory
Voice Memo #2: What’s So Great About Taylor
Voice Memo #3: The Eras Tour
Ze (Slightly Edited) Transcripts:
Now, most importantly, let us talk about Taylor Ann Smith. Is her middle name, Ann? I can't remember. Taylor Marie? Taylor Marine? Taylor… what the fuck is Taylor Swift's middle name? You know I'm gonna have to look it up after I get off the phone. [Edit: Yup, I looked it up. IT’S ALISON.]
My Taylor Backstory
So the deal with Taylor Swift. So first of all, I should start by saying, or make it clear, I have not always been a Taylor Swift person. In fact, I didn't care about her at all. And then I just thought she was boring and all her songs sounded the same. And she was just a pop star for little girls, or… you know, I was definitely not interested in her when she was more country. She just wasn't on my radar. I didn't care. And if I did think about her, what I thought about her probably wasn't all that nice.
And then it was 2014. And I was in San Jose, I was going to visit the guy I was dating. I remember all this because I was in a parking lot, waiting for him or something, but it was also kind of near where [my long-term and (painfully) ex-boyfriend] Charles's mom lived. And so it was very emotionally charged, that whole drive.
The radio was tuned to NPR and I was listening to a radio program about Taylor's new album, 1989, the one that “Shake It Off” is on. And they were doing a review, but also backstory. They went through every single song of the album and talked about what it meant, how it was made, what was happening with the production and the audio. And then they would play the whole song.
I FOUND THE SHOW! (I think)
NPR’s Fresh Air
Taylor Swift: The Peppiest Pop Star We Have Right Now
October 30, 2014
Note: In my memory, the show I heard was a very long program that played every single song in its entirety. But it’s very possible that what I heard was simply this 8-minute review, and that was enough to set me on the course to becoming the Swift scholar I am today.
It was the first time that I'd ever really sat down and listened to her music all the way through. I think Taylor is one of those artists, where it takes several listens to really get what's so good about her music and to really appreciate her (I mean, this could be true of all artists in a way, but Taylor in particular). You don't necessarily have to sit down and listen intently. But if you just hear a song on a playlist or on the radio, like in passing, you're not really gonna get it.
Like even with her latest album, The Tortured Poets Department. The first time I listened to it (and by the way there's even a reel going around that is exactly this), I'm like, boooooring, all the songs sound the same. And then the second time you listen, you're like, wait a minute, there are a couple of songs in here that are good. And then the third time you listen, you're like, this album is genius. And then the fourth time, you're singing along and you're crying on the floor.
And so listening to that NPR program, I developed this sudden interest in her. And then I couldn't listen to anything but 1989. Seriously, for like a year and a half or something, or even longer. When I moved to Venice in 2016, I was still playing that album every morning when I woke up.
But it was only that album. She came out with another couple of albums I didn’t really listen to. I didn't pay attention because I didn't have the NPR program to tell me why it was good, and I didn't care enough to sit down try to listen to them. And so it wasn't until she came out with Midnights and the single “Anti-Hero.” I listened to it a couple times and I liked it.
But then Tortured Poets, her latest album, for some reason, I listened to it over and over and over and over, and now I can't stop listening to it.
So that's kind of my backstory.
Now let me explain what it is about her, why people like her, what's good about her. And it's really multifold…
What it is about Taylor
Okay, here we are, Part Two. Why do people like Taylor Swift? Why is she such a big deal? Is she, as you suggested, just fun?
Well, she is fun, but it's definitely not just about her being fun. Like, if she were just fun… I'm trying to think of who is just fun. Like Miley Cyrus in the “Party in the USA” days was fun. Or like Iggy Azalea is just fun.
But the thing about Taylor is, first of all, her songwriting is really personal.
I saw a (really amazing, highly recommended) New York Times article that described it as: she's documenting girlhood.
And not only the experience of coming of age as a girl, and the different developmental phases of that, though she is doing that.
Like, when she's a teenager, she writes songs that perfectly encapsulate what it's like to be a teenager. When she's 20, she writes songs that perfectly encapsulate what it's like to be 20.
But also the experience of being a girl in the world (particularly a straight girl in the world). The doubts you have about yourself, the doubts you have in relationships, what it's like to fall in love, what it's like to break up.
She captures the thoughts that you might have. The universal experience of being a girl. And therefore, in that specificity, finds a kind of universal experience of being a person. And she does it in this very plain, honest, conversational, beautifully simple, but also kind of poetic way. She's not too pretentious. It's not too arty. It's the way you might say something on your smartest day. And so it's very accessible, there's a sense of humor, it can even be corny.
There is almost this sense that you could have written it, except it also is smart enough that it surprises you. And so it pleases you, because you also know that you couldn't or wouldn’t have written it that way.
[Ed note: Here is where I go off on a tangent about how my voice sounds. Check the audio for this riveting digression.]
So she's always done that. That's always what people have resonated with: the way she captures that girlhood experience, the range of emotions.
She's particularly good at love songs, and she's particularly good at breakup songs. I could make you a list of my favorite songs if you're interested, but…
For example, “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” It's such an amazing breakup anthem.
And it's so simple. It's a song about a relationship where you keep going back and forth, and then you finally just get so tired of it. And the whole chorus is this anthemic “we are never ever getting back together” and then this funny little interlude… She often does these little kind of talking interludes that are super dorky, but also super catchy.
And that's another thing she does. She's a really catchy songwriter. Her songs are really good pop.
And all the little pieces, even the things that we kind of want to make fun of her for, are part of what make them so catchy and so interesting. She loves a bridge. She loves a pre-chorus. She loves an anthemic phrase that you can sing along with. She's just really good at crafting a pop song.
On top of that, she has this image, and I think that it's pretty much authentic to her. She's kind of awkward. She's kind of dorky. She's kind of corny.
Yes, she's tall and she's beautiful and she's blonde. And so there's something aspirational about her. There's something to look up to. There's something, you know, “pop idol” about her.
But she also is relatable.
And part of that is her personality. Part of that is also I think by intention, by choice. I've heard that even as she's gotten more famous, she's made a point of staying relatable.
For instance, she doesn't have a stylist all the time. She could look much better than she does. But she intentionally doesn't try to look perfect all the time because she doesn't want that distance between her and her fans. And I think between her and herself too.
Also, she's not a great dancer. She hasn't always been the best singer. And I think that's something that her fans also really like about her. She’s almost the anti-Beyonce in that way. Like, Beyonce is a goddess alien from another planet who is perfect in every way. Anything that isn't perfect, we never see. Everything is so curated. Any art she does is absolutely top-notch. And we love that about her. She's untouchable.
But we also don't know her at all. We consume her art almost completely separate from like her as a person. And I don't know how much like we feel community with other people who listen to Beyonce.
Taylor is completely the opposite. She is dorky all the time. She isn't good at all of the stuff she does, you know. She lets us know a lot about her life. She writes very personally in her songs. And it's pretty clear who she's talking about. Like, yes, Beyonce did Lemonade, but that was a pretty big deal and kind of a departure for her. And even then, she didn't make it easy for us to put the pieces together of like, okay, who is he cheating with and when? And you know, we had to do a lot of that detective work ourselves.
But with Taylor, for example, there are famous paparazzi pictures of her and Harry Styles walking through New York City. And she'll reference outfits they were wearing in that picture in a song.
And she gives interviews and she's in the press and she has her own social media. She lets her fans know her. And she likes letting her fans know her.
And so there really is this parasocial relationship between her and her fans. And I think she really does feel a connection to them as well. And so part of the deal with her is… God, there's so many directions I want to go.
I also just want to mention that she's a marketing genius.
Taylor’s Brain for Business
I can't believe I'm sending you three or more messages about Taylor Swift, but hey, I'm very passionate about this topic and I know a lot about it now.
Okay, so before I get to the Era’s Tour, let's talk a little more about Taylor in general.
So, she really has a brain for marketing and for business, and she's gotten some shit about that, the idea that she's very “calculating,” but I honestly don't think it's that.
I think that she has a mind for design, she has a mind for patterns, she has a mind for projects and how pieces will fit together, and she really enjoys all those pieces.
I think when she starts writing songs for an album, she imagines the concept of the album, she imagines what the imagery on the front of the album is going to be, she imagines what the videos might be, she likes matching the outfits that she wears on the red carpet to what the album imagery is going to be, she likes hiding Easter eggs in the songs.
She's aware of what her fans are saying or what they like, and then she kind of plays with her fans in the way that you would, say, with your friends or you know, at the Art Monastery, like self-referential inside jokes.
She fosters that with her fans, and does that in her songs and in her album drops. And she's done it more and more as time has gone on, as she's realized that her fans like it and what they're doing. That they have this this fun kind of scavenger hunt or puzzle game trying to figure out what's coming next and when it's coming and "She wore a plaid skirt, does that mean that the next album is going to be fall-related or academic-related?”
And so she started playing into that more and more. I just heard a podcast episode about this, about how she's actually always had this kind of mind.
The Podcast
Honestly, this podcast was just kind of OK, but here it is, if you want to listen. The guest taught an NYU course called “Topics in Recorded Music: Taylor Swift.”
Like early in her career, she was doing a tour for one of her albums and every night she would write the lyrics to a different song she loved on her arm. And it's fun for people in the audience to see what lyrics she's gonna have and try to figure out what song it belongs to, yes. Like, on the one hand, it's just a fun game for people. And it's also a way for her to express herself.
But it also is a brilliant marketing move. It gives people a reason to take pictures of her at every show, a reason to pay attention to every single show, even if she's singing the same songs.
And so similarly now on the Eras tour, she will change her outfits from night to night, there are certain phrases that she'll switch up from night to night. She also has a thing in the Eras Tour during a song where she gives a hat away to a little girl every single night - they choose a girl out of the audience, and then during the show she dances in the hat for a whole song, and then she gives the hat to this little girl. So every night you get to see who she gives it to, and how that kid reacts.
Dancer Kam tailoring what he says in place of the “like ever” spoken word portion of “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” for the culture and slang of the location
Montage of mostly Europe, Australia, and Asia:
Italy (with full song and choreo):
In case you were wondering what he said in Italy night one, “col cazzo” is slang that might be used the way you’d use “my ass,” as in “that fuckboy is calling me back, my ass.” “Cazzo” is slang for penis, like “prick” or “cock,” and is often used in slightly vulgar expressions. When I lived in Italy, “Che cazzo fai” was one of my favorite expressions. It literally means “what the dick are you doing” but idiomatically means “what the fuck are you doing?” But all of that is a digression from the point that this is Taylor (and Kam) finding a way to make each show different, and also personal to the audience.
And so it's all very much a combination of: personal to her, connection with the fans, giving them something to be interested in and play with, and it's also brilliant marketing.
And so all of that together creates this feeling of a community. These people feel like they know Taylor, and also they sort of feel like they know each other, they have something in common. It’s a little bit more like Lady Gaga's fan base than, say, Beyonce's, but even more intense. In some ways I think that some people feel about her the way people felt about Michael Jackson. But also she's a girl writing about girlhood, and she's not such a fucking weirdo as he was, so it’s all super positive, and about self-love, and about authenticity, and about joy, and is just a really sweet vibe.
The Eras Tour
So that brings us to the Eras and why the Eras Tour is such a big deal, and for that I need to give you a little bit of backstory.
So there are a couple major things that happened in Taylor's career and in her life that changed the trajectory of both.
At first she was a country star, and she was just on the upward trajectory, getting more and more successful. She didn't upset anyone, she didn't tell anyone her political views, everybody could just project whatever they wanted onto her. She didn't have this level of fame yet, but everyone liked her, she was very likable, she was dating Jake Gyllenhaal and Harry Styles and then John Mayer, you know.
And then a couple things happened in a row. So I don't know if you remember when Kanye West got on stage, and was like, “Taylor, Imma let you finish,” and then was like, “Beyonce should have won this award, but I guess you can have it, little girl.”
So that was really traumatic for Taylor [Edit: she talks all about this in her very good documentary, “Miss Americana,” on Netflix], but her response was to fawn and to become friends with Kanye after that.
And then when Kanye put out his song “Famous,” where he said something like, “I still think Taylor and I might have sex,” something about “I made that bitch famous.” And Taylor got upset about the line, and Kanye said, he ran it by her and now she's saying she's upset, and then he released audio from the phone call where Taylor said she was fine with the lyric.
So it turns out that Kanye asked if he could mention her in a song, and she said “sure.” But he didn't say what the lyrics were gonna be, and what upset her is: one, he called her a bitch, and two, that he took credit for her fame.
It came out much later that he and Kim had edited the audio so it sounded like she was agreeing to something that she wasn't agreeing to. But before we found that out, everyone thought that Taylor was… well, they bought Kanye's story about it, that Taylor was lying, that she was being manipulative. And suddenly the whole world turned on her, kind of the way that the whole world turned on Anne Hathaway 10 years ago for, like, no reason.
The whole world turned on Taylor. They started posting snake emojis under everything she posted on Instagram. There became this narrative that she was conniving, and calculated, and manipulative, and entitled, and privileged. She was basically cancelled. She had always been this people-pleasing, likable Miss Americana, and this just destroyed her self-esteem, particularly because it wasn't true, and because it was Kanye, the same person who’d traumatized her already.
So she had this whole trauma, and she basically disappeared for a while. Disappeared from the spotlight, literally moved to London, and didn't leave her house for a year.
At the same time, there's this confusing, kind of complicated thing that happened where she was trying to buy her masters, and her manager or whoever, who had been, kind of like a second father to her as she was coming up, because she started when she was like 15, he sold them out from under her instead of selling them to her.
He sold them along with a bunch of other things. But he just sold a bunch of properties to someone who was, like, part of Kanye's team, to someone that she actively distrusted and felt bad about.
And so she felt deeply betrayed and upset that not only did she not have control over this thing, not only did he not ask her and let her buy them, but now this man that she didn't trust had control over her art and would make money every time her fans would listen to it.
And so she was beside herself, and her fans knew it, and there was even this big debate of whether it was ethical to listen to her music because every time we stream it, the money goes to this man she hates.
So Kelly Clarkson, I think, tweeted that Taylor should just re-record all of her music and that she would own the masters to the re-records. And so that's what Taylor started to do. One by one, she has gone in and re-recorded all of her albums with the same production, same lyrics, and released them as Taylor’s Version. So if the album was “Fearless,” she releases it as “Fearless” in parentheses (Taylor's version), which is shortened to, “Fearless TV.”
And her fans are obsessed with it. Every time she does this, the album goes to number one. And part of that is this parasocial relationship that she developed with them, where they're rooting for her, and they want to support her. They want her to get the money.
So you'd think it would be insane. Like, who wants to buy the same album that she already put out? But people love the new albums. They're obsessed with the new albums and with supporting her autonomy and her healing her trauma and reclaiming her name and reclaiming her reputation. And so there's been this interesting thing of even though she's so famous and has so much privilege, she also is sort of always kind of in this victim position too, which makes her, again, relatable, and we want to protect her.
So the Eras Tour came about because she basically recorded three albums that she wasn't able to tour because of COVID. She put out “Midnights.” She put out “Folklore.” She put out “Evermore.” And maybe even before that, I think maybe even “Lover” she never got to tour. Because she was super prolific during COVID. So she had, like, four albums that she hadn't toured. She was trying to figure out how she was going to tour them. And then she had also put out these (Taylor's Version) albums of her old albums. So she had, all of this music. And it had been so long since she'd been on tour.
And so she got the idea, for whatever reason, to do a tour that's, in a way it's sort of a Greatest Hits tour, I guess. But it really is about, like, honoring… So when she talks about eras, she's really talking about, like, each album, but also, like, the imagery around that album, what was happening in her life during that album.
And so this tour is such a big deal because it's the first time we're getting to see her play a lot of this stuff live. And then it's also a celebration of the albums that she's re-recorded. It's a celebration of her return to the public. Because she disappeared… When was that? I guess before “Reputation.”
But it's a sort of a reclaiming of her whole career kind of tour. It's three hours long.
And it is spectacular.
Like, the choreography… I've seen a lot of it on Instagram, but I also watched the concert video. And I can't tell you…
I mean, concert movies are fine, but they're always boring for at least some of it.
But there was not a second of this concert that was boring. For me and my sister and my mom. And my sister and my mom don't even like Taylor that much. [Note: It’s actually possible my sister likes Taylor as much as I do, and probably has for longer, since she always gets to pop culture first and has always liked country more than me. I don’t actually know lol. Sally? Wanna weigh in?]
The choreography, the sets, the visuals, the pyrotechnics, the costumes, the song choices, the banter in between, the interaction with the audience. It's just immaculate all the way through. Every single era has a different set of visuals, a different costume, a different theme of choreography. Every song has its own little thing.
It's really a production.
But again, it's not a production like Beyoncé is a production. It’s playful. It's dorky. It's emotional. It's accessible. Like, I almost cried a couple times. I've never cried watching Beyonce.
Like, I might have cried watching Beyoncé because of the production value, but I've never cried because of what Beyoncé is feeling on stage. Or because the song that she's singing makes me feel something so intensely. Like, I might cry because it's just so good and good art is moving, you know?
But Taylor is just, it's just… I really want you to see it. It's just phenomenal. All of the choices that she makes for the sets and the colors, and everything means something. So every time you see it, you get more and more out of it. And the deeper you go, the longer you listen to her, the more you get out of it. Because the more connections you make, the more you understand about her life.
This is the other piece: her personal life. The more you understand who she's talking about, what the dynamics are, which breakup this was, what else was happening in her life at the time. Like “Oh, that's when she was best friends with Karlie Kloss.” “Oh, that's when she had the platinum blonde hair.” “Oh, that's when Tom Hiddleston wore the I Heart Taylor Swift T-shirt in Rhode Island.”
Like, it's just excellent celebrity gossip also, but also art gossip, you know? The same way as if you read Anaïs Nin and who is it that she dated? Was it Henry Miller? Whoever wrote “Tropic of Cancer.” So if you know about both of them and you've read both of their work, then it's even richer to read each thing.
So the more you know about Taylor, the more you know about Matty Healy from The 1975, then you can listen to both of the songs they wrote about each other. There's just so much rich text, to the point that there are college courses about Taylor's music. There are college courses about Taylor as a marketing genius. There's just so much, so much in the text of her whole career.
So yeah, so the Eras tour, it's just a really big deal on multiple levels.
So people go and they feel like they're going to see their best friend, but also everyone there… it's like a Dead Show or something where there's just so much love and community that people are hugging strangers, they're becoming best friends.
Taylor mentions friendship bracelets in some song, and so that's become a thing where everybody goes, they make friendship bracelets at home and they bring them to trade at the concert. And the bracelets have names of her albums, or they might have lyrics from one of her songs.
Also, people have a thing where they dress up as whichever era they're in. Like which of Taylor’s eras they are identifying with right now.And so people recognize that in each other. People also dress up like her costumes from previous shows.
But there's this really intense community feeling between the people who go that you just don't get at most concerts.
And so for all of those reasons, people are going to multiple shows, they're paying thousands of dollars, they're seeing it in Kansas City and then they're flying to Spain and seeing it there.
I'm trying to think if there's anything else that I haven't touched on yet. That's the main thing about the Eras Tour and why it's all such a big deal.
Also, while this has all been going on…
She was dating Joe Alwyn for, like, six years or something, and they had a really private relationship and they broke up right before the Eras Tour. And so at the very beginning of the Eras Tour, she was singing Lover, which is an album and a song that she wrote about him, and you could see her crying on stage as she played it.
And then very soon after, she started dating Matty Healy from the 1975 and he was coming to her shows. There were videos of him playing his shows, dedicating songs to her, her at Eras tour, dedicating songs to him.
Then they split up, and then a few months later, all of this Travis Kelce stuff happened. And Travis is the most public she has ever been with a boyfriend, ever. And it has been such a delight for the fans and such a big deal. Like now Taylor Swift fans are involved in the NFL. The NFL is catering to Taylor Swift fans, like changing their Twitter bio to Taylor Swift lyrics. Taylor is doing actions on stage, like certain moves Travis does on the field when he scores a touchdown that Taylor does on stage to signal to him. Or she changed a lyric to reference him directly. She even had him perform in one of her shows.
And so this tour just keeps getting cooler and cooler for the fans who are paying attention.
Okay, I think that's probably enough on Taylor Swift. Let me know if you have any questions.