Media Diet: Veronica Mars x Seth Cohen, true (and fake) crime, and not-boring mellow music

Nobody Wants This, Into the Fire, Tell Me Lies, Cupid De Locke playlist

It’s been a week. And, you know, a week. I had therapy twice, I went to the eye doctor for a scary eye “emergency” that turned out not to be an emergency or scary but just annoying (did you know that as you age, the jelly part of your eyeball can detach from your retina and cause flashes of light and shadowy rings in your vision that you just have to live with forever now? Me either. But now you do. You’re welcome.), and I spent a lot of time resting from both.

Here are some of the things that kept me occupied, entertained, and engaged while I was in bed (again, as usual, as always) this week.

Oh and btw, I’m still experimenting with how to name and categorize posts like this. I made what’s called a “Section” on the Substack, which I think of as like a section of a newspaper or magazine, or what in journalism talk we’d call a vertical. That means you can come to the homepage of “Well, Actually” and click on “My Media Diet” to see all my recs and reviews in one place. It also means I may play a bit with naming conventions. Bear with me as I figure it out! (I’m also open to feedback/suggestions.) I love you. Happy listening/watching.

---

Nobody Wants This (TV, Netflix)

I just binged all of the new romcom TV series Nobody Wants This, and I’m bummed it’s already over.

It was written by comedy writer Erin Foster (the daughter of one of David Foster’s many wives, and creator, with her actress sister Sara Foster, of the clothing brand Favorite Daughter and the podcast “The World’s First Podcast”) and is based not-so-loosely on her own life meeting and marrying her husband.

The premise is this: blonde shiksa (played brilliantly by Kristen Bell) falls in love with a Jewish rabbi (played to charming Seth Cohen perfection by Adam Brody), and hilarity - and pathos - ensues.

There have been lots of valid critiques that the show casts all the Jewish women as bitches and shrews. This, however, didn’t bother me much.

For starters, it’s a show from the perspective of an outsider trying to navigate the world of Jewish mothers and sisters-in-law for the first time, and, well, let’s just say that’s not gonna be the warmest environment for a button-nosed blonde who doesn’t even know what Shalom means.

So in the context of that story, I found the depictions of Jews (and everyone) in the show funny, recognizable, and understandable.

But second, it’s not like the show spares the Jewish men or the gentile women either. Nearly everyone on this show - except Adam Brody’s character, it seems, and whooboy is there going to be a mass swell of new crushes on our also-Jewish-in-real-life boy - is sort of likably terrible, in a way that feels honest and refreshing - and, most importantly, funny.

This is a show where everyone owns or calls each other on their real motivations, and says the quiet parts out loud, which, with a cast with this level of talent and chemistry, is just a delight to watch. (The relationship between the sisters is especially, appropriately complex.)

I mentioned the leads, who we already know are excellent actors, but they both spend this whole show in the pocket, of their characters and with each other. Their affection and enjoyment of each other seems so genuine, I have to imagine they really like each other off screen too. But whatever it is, they are just plain fun to watch. And moving. A friend of mine cried the first time they kissed. When’s the last time you cried during a comedy?

As for the rest of the cast, the line-up includes Timothy Simons, the really really tall guy from “Veep,” who plays a similarly doofy (but more lovable) character here as the rabbi’s brother; Justine Lupe, who played Willa in “Succession” and the shiksa wife in “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (though, still, as in that show, she needs to find a more natural blonde color for her skin tone), as Kristen Bell’s character’s sister; Sherry Cola, one of the stand-outs from “Good Trouble,” the soapy spin-off of “The Fosters,” who I suspect is becoming sort of a next gen Margaret Cho and here plays the sisters’ agent and friend; and OMG THE INCOMPARABLE Tovah Feldshuh as the disapproving mother-in-law, who has been a Broadway star for 50 years but is my favorite because of this “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” video gem: “Remember That We Suffered.”

It’s just an all-star cast, playing an all-star game.

I loved every scene between every character. I loved the dialogue. I loved the tone, which is upbeat and warm (but doesn’t spare bite, where bite is appropriate). And I loved seeing Jewish culture on screen in a way that has nothing at all to do with the horrors happening in the Middle East. (For those concerned, there is no discussion of Israel and no support of Zionism in this show, though it should be noted that Erin and Sara are both vocal supporters of Israel, which I suspect is an over-correction born of their non-native relationship to Judaism. So if you don’t want to watch for that reason, I get it.)

In fact, my only real complaint is that they named the lead character Joanne. It’s the only part of the show that takes me out of the story, because seriously, what adult woman in modern Los Angeles is named Joanne? Especially considering she has a hippie mom… but whatever. Kristen Bell can act her way out of a paper bag and she can act her way out of this stupid name too. (Apologies to all the real Joannes out there, and all of their fabric stores.)

In general, this was easily the most fun and enjoyable watch of my week, which itself was a little stressful. So for that reason, I pass on the rec to you. (It’s also #1 on Netflix, so apparently I’m not alone.) Perhaps you could use a little of the Veronica Mars/Seth Cohen magic too.

---

Into the Fire (docuseries, Netflix)

It’s hard to say much about why “Into the Fire” is one of the best true crime docu-series I’ve seen in a long time without spoiling what makes it so compelling.

So I’ll just say that if you like true crime, or even if you don’t usually but you do when it’s really good, I very much recommend this one (the basics are: it’s about a girl who went missing in the ‘80s, and how and who tried to solve her case decades later). It has some wild twists that raise questions about motherhood, psychology, relationship dynamics, and how to take care of our children.

If you’ve seen it, please leave a comment so we can chat about it (spoilers okay in the comments). This is one I was still thinking about for hours after it was over.

And also, as with all true crime, proceed with caution if you’re prone to trauma triggers. This one will have a few for sure.

---

Tell Me Lies (TV, Hulu)

This addictive show isn’t going to win any prestige TV awards but it might be my favorite youth drama in the past few years (and hey, maybe it’ll win some People’s Choice or MTV awards…?). We’re four episodes in to Season Two, with episodes dropping weekly on Wednesdays, so you still have time to catch up and chat with me in real time as things unfold.

It’s based on a book (a fact I don’t care about but you might), and is set in two time periods - 2007/2008, when the cast are in college, and 2015, when they meet again.

Which btw is part of what makes it fun. They do a good job of playing with cultural references and music choices, especially from the late aughts. Did you want to hear some Amy Winehouse, The Raconteurs, The Strokes, or Gnarls Barkley? Look no further.

The fashion is a little hit or miss - sometimes skews too early aughts, sometimes too mdoern - but it still works for me. You won’t hear any of my rants about how nobody wore butterfly clips in 1998 here (because apparently I only have that kind of passion about ‘90s-era anachronisms).

As for the story, there are aspects of true crime and mystery, and there is a very toxic relationship at the center of the drama, which is a perfect hyperbolic stand-in for all the toxic relationships you’ve had in your life. It’s fun, it’s dark, but it’s not, you know, too dark. You’re more likely to laugh at the parts that resonate with you than to cry.

And speaking of resonance, I think my favorite part of this show is that it really captures the experience of being in college, perhaps better than almost any other. The energy of being on campus. The aesthetic of a dorm room (yes, this show actually shows how small they are) and the feeling of giggling on your bed with your friends. The way you know you’re gonna see your crush in the dining hall, because it’s the dining hall and that’s where everyone eats.

They even get the parties right. The right size. The right amount of mess. No Tiki bars college kids couldn’t afford or silly games college kids don’t actually play.

It feels like a real world, the size and feel of a real college, in a way most shows never fully capture (like did Rory’s Yale ever really remind you of your college experience? Buffy’s UC Sunnydale? The college in “Greek” (which btw is one of my favorite college soaps, if you want some fluffy fun)? Any other more recent college-age show?). There’s something zoomed in and internal and contained, in the way college was, both with the cinematography and the story.

It also helps that the cast has incredible chemistry.

The leads are both great, separately and together. The protagonist Lucy is played by Grace Van Patten, who was excellent in the very weird “Nine Perfect Strangers”, and her foil Stephen is Jackson White, who is the son of Katey Sagal, everyone’s favorite mom on “Married with Children” and “Sons of Anarchy.” They’re dynamic on screen, which I’m sure is helped by the fact that they’re an actual couple who started dating in between auditions and when the show started filming, unbeknownst to directors (as detailed on one of my favorite pop culture podcasts “Not Skinny But Not Fat”).

And the rest of the ensemble are actually friends, so scenes where they’re partying or giggling feel deeply authentic to the experience of casual hang-outs with other late teens/early 20-somethings.

It just feels really good to me - nostalgic, romantic, validating, and even healing maybe - to have that time of my life and that feeling reflected back to me.

Again, this is no “Station 11” (which omg please watch it, it’s the best TV in years) or “House of Dragons” (which I haven’t seen, but y’all seem real excited about it), but if you’re into teen/college dramas and/or dark relationship vibes, this show may scratch that itch for you (and it rises above the pack of boring trash; it might not be Shakespeare but there is something here.)

If you watch it, tell me. I want to talk about all the things.

---

Cupid De Locke Radio (Playlist, Spotify)

It’s hard for me to find the right music these days.

In general, my taste runs along the lines of active listening: rock (the Stones, Stone Temple Pilots), punk (NOFX, Rancid), show tunes (Les Mis, Hamilton), comedy/novelty (Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Tenacious D), OMG THE DRAMA (Nine Inch Nails, Our Lady Peace, a playlist called bombastic classical), sing- or dance-along pop ( I listened to Sam Smith’s “Unholy” like 300 times last year), ‘90s hip-hop (I’m having a whole thing with House of Pain’s “Jump Around” rn)…

But my body can’t always handle the kind of stimulation that my taste craves.

For example, one of the sad realizations I’ve had over the past few years is that the severity of my illness almost always makes punk music too much for me. Too loud, too fast, too aggressive, too exhausting. 

Which means when I want to listen to music, I’m always having to find something gentler. Often slower. Mellower.

Which is a problem, because what I think of as “mellow music” is actually also deeply engaging in a different way - Sigur Ros, Jonsi, Radiohead… all of it deeply emotional, or almost spiritual. Moody. Vibey. Music for meditating, or for interpretive dancing about heartbreak and existential pain. It’s not really ideal music for keeping the nervous system neutral, and, you know, just making eggs.

So every time, I go looking for something more ambient. Jazz? I don’t like it much, though I respect it. EDM? Has never really been my thing except in very specific contexts. Binaural beats? Only for sleeping and meditating, thanks. NOT bombastic classical? Good for background noise when I’m writing, but otherwise…booooring.

I need a Goldilocks genre. Something gentle on the system but still interesting enough to keep my mind occupied. A mood that’s mostly neutral but if it does have a mood, it’s on the uplifting positive side. A rock sensibility that doesn’t inspire head-banging. A ballad sensibility that doesn’t inspire tears.

What even could that be you ask?

“CUPID DE LOCKE” FUCKING RADIO

It’s perfect. It’s all the things. Fun but also in the background. Lots of “oh I like this song” but you could fall asleep to it. If you’re in a good mood, it’ll match you. If you’re in a bad mood, it’ll put you in a better one without feeling like it’s some construction worker on the side of the road saying “Why can’t you just smile?”

It’s been two weeks since I found/made it, and I’ve never found a situation in which I wasn’t happy to be listening to it.

How’d I find it? Divine intervention, I guess. You know how sometimes you just wake up with a song in your head and you know that if you listen to it, something good will happen? Even if that something good is just: you’ll like it?

Well a couple weeks ago that song was Smashing Pumpkins’ “Cupid de Locke” (which was hard to figure out since all I knew was the melody and that it was from Mellon Collie, so I had to listen to three seconds of every song on that album to find it - and that’s a double album so…)

It turned out it was exactly my vibe. I went outside, drank ginger tea, looked at the sky, and thought: This is the perfect song. I’m a genius.

When it was over I played it again. 

And then I realized I couldn’t play this same song forever.

So I made a Radio station out of it (one of my favorite Spotify features, btw), unsure if it would deliver, and BOY HAS IT. It has been a surprise and a delight, and even songs that in other contexts might be too sad (some Nirvana) or too annoying (some Morrissey), in this context, still hit just right. 

Some faves: “I’m so Tired” by Fugazi, “My Little Corner of the World” by Yo La Tengo, “Paper Bag” by Fiona Apple, “After Hours” by The Velvet Underground

So now, I share this with you. Perhaps it’ll be your Goldilocks playlist too.

---

Til next time… xoxox, M